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Konohagakure~


Hokage: Cicera
Durability: 100%
Funds: N/A

Kirigakure~


Mizukage: Revy Izumi
Durability: 100%
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    Raion Akuma

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    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin

    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 1925
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 22
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu on Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:19 pm


    Retrieving Ninja Profile.....


    Who... Am I?

      Name: Raion Akuma

      Nickname/Alias: Rai

      Age: 14

      Gender: Male

      Is that really me?

      Appearance:
      He's 5'8" height and his skin is a little tanned. He has straight medium length black hair and slitted Emerald green eyes that shine even in the darkness of the night like a canine or a feline. He is normally muscular. He likes to keep himself in shape in this days of sickness, but he is not a heal nut like other peoples, but he respect those kind of people either way, his appearance often intimidates people who don't really know him, since when he is relaxed, his face just go to a stoic mask or a glare, but that is just his default expression, so he really sometimes doesn't know why people is afraid or keep their distance from him, but once you get to know him, you'll realize that he is just a kind and nice guy to be around.

      Clothing: He wears a black sleeveless muscle shirt under a black coat, black pants with pockets, for scrolls if needed and other such things, he also wear black shinobi sandals,along with his kunai pouch strapped to his right thigh and shuriken pouch on his left. He usually has on a shinobi belt, as well, giving him more pockets to store scrolls, kunai, etc.

      Extra Item

      This amulet is a gift from his Father and Mother after passing the genin exams, and since then, he hasn't taken it off, he likes to think that it gives him courage and strength to keep going when he doesn't know what to do anymore, under the sun or moonlight, it gives a pale blue hue, and under closer inspection, a ethereal blue flame can be seen inside the blue crystal of the amulet, the flames seeing like their are dancing inside the amulet.
      Weight: 130

      Height: 5'8"

      Ethnicity: Anime

      Voice: His voice is normally soothing and kind when he is talking to his friend or people he is comfortable with, but when he is talking to strangers or people he doesn't like, his voice is cold, emotionless and monotone.

        Likes:
      • His Precious People
      • The rain, be it light rain or a storm
      • The Supernatural/Mythology
      • Canines and Felines
      • Honesty
      • Kindness
      • Friendship
      • Loyalty
      • Hard working shinobi

        Dislikes:
      • Traitors
      • Bigots
      • Sexists
      • Liars
      • Bullying
      • Politics
      • Racism


      Personality:
      Ren personality is somewhat simple. Raion provides a friendly attitude when meeting for the first time. Although being very outgoing and friendly, Raion doesn't show mercy to those who betray their village or worse, if they betray their friends.

      Teamwork to him means everything. He believes that teamwork can overcome anything no matter what. To him, having a friend is like finding your true happiness, he like people who honors friendship, teamwork, but he mostly honor his friend and family over anything else.

      When he is facing his enemies or people who really rub him the wrong way, he shows them a cold exterior and tries kill his enemies as quickly as possible, and distance himself away from people he really doesn't like to be around with.

      How he acts towards his Teachers or future Jonin-Sensei is with a nonchalance mask and a monotone voice that sometimes unnerved his Academy Teachers, and sometimes the occasional Chunin or Jonin he comes across in Konoha. Towards his friend, he takes off the mask and shows them a kind and friendly personality, he sometimes acts nonchalant and speak in monotone just to scare his friends.

      If you manage to befriend him, before he do it first of course, you will have an invaluable ally who will always watch your back and never betray you.

      My...Family?

      Clan: -

      Unique Clan Features: -

      It's all coming back to me now..

      Classification: Genin

      Letter Rank: C

      Village: Konohagakure/Konoha

      My skills were unmatched..

      -Skill Specialties-

      Available Starting Points: 3


      • 1. Ninjutsu (Adept)
      • 2. Taijutsu (Novice)
      • 3.


      -Elements-


      • 1. Futon (Wind)
      • 2.
      • 3.
      • Comb.


      -Jutsu-

      E:
      D: 3
      C: 7
      B:
      A:
      S:
      _____________
      Normal Ninjutsu:

      Name: Genjutsu Kai/Release
      Type: Ninjutsu
      Rank: C
      Description: Kai is a way for a ninja to stop the flow of chakra in their body, and then apply an even stronger power to disrupt the flow of the caster's chakra; this is called Genjutsu Release, or "Kai". This can also be done by an unaffected ninja by applying a sudden surge of chakra into the affected person. In addition, tailed beasts can break their jinchūriki out of genjutsu in a similar fashion if they have a good enough cooperation.

      Genin: C: E, D, C, B
      Chunin: B: E, D, C, B, A
      Jounin: A: E, D, C, B, A, S

      As shown above, A ranked Kai's can break S rank Genjutsu. But to perform this, the A ranked Kai must be applied twice, not only once. To keep S ranked Genjutsu deadly, an A ranked Kai must be performed twice to knock the partner, or yourself out of an S ranked Genjutsu. This of course has the effect of using 2 A ranked Jutsu. B also has this similar effect when breaking an A ranked Genjutsu. As well as C, breaking B.

      Wind Ninjutsu/Taijutsu:

      Name: Wind Style: Lion's Roar
      Type: Ninjutsu
      Rank: D-C
      Description: Raion will start channeling wind chakra into his lungs and vocal cords, he will take a deep breath and then let it out, Raion creates a great explosion of cutting air and massive shockwave of sound and he roar much like a lion, the attack can get more powerful so long you put much more chakra. The radius can be 5m at D-rank and 15m at C-rank.

      Wind Release • Aura of the Winds [Fuuton • Reiki Kaze no Jutsu]
      A technique utilizing Wind Chakra, Infuse, and Shield
      Handseals: Yes
      Rank: C
      Effect: A technique where the user gathers chakra into the winds around them, having this invisible aura around them that offers protective. The winds of this jutsu are capable of deflecting projectiles such as kunai, shuriken, and Senbon. Larger projectiles though will be veered off course, but will still hit the user in a less fatal fashion. The AoE (Area of Effect) of this jutsu is in a 360 degree radius around Raion and the range is only 10m around him. The techniques cost D rank amount of chakra per post activated.

      Name: Wind Style: Lion
      Type: Ninjutsu
      Rank: D
      Description: Raion will start channeling wind chakra in his fist and concentrated in the shape of twin lion heads, with this he can deliver devastating punch and cuts to the opponent. The technique can only be used for five post before he turned it off, with a three post cool-down. The chakra cost is E-rank chakra per post.

      Name: Wind Style: Lion Fist
      Type: Ninjutsu
      Rank: C
      Description: Gathers the wind chakra already in his fist and punch multiple times forward and release in it a attack that punch the air out of the opponent with its as the attack as its own course, heading for different places of the body, mainly the spine, gut, arms and legs, by launching a wind chakra in the shape of a lion's head from his fist. He can only launch a max of 2 lion headed fist per jutsu use. The range of the two lion headed fist is up to 5m.

      Name: Wind Style: Wolf
      Classification: Ninjutsu
      Rank: D
      Description: Raion will start channeling in his feet and stop channeling wind chakra in his fist, and concentrated in the shape wolf paws, with this Raion can deliver devastating kicks to the opponent, it also give him a 10% boost in speed thanks to the wind chakra in his legs and feet, he can only use this for 5 post, with a 3 post cool-down. It cost E-rank amount of chakra per post activated.

      Name: Wind Style: Wolf Crushing Kick
      Type: Taijutsu
      Rank: C
      Description: Raion will start channeling wind chakra in his legs and 'paws'. And with the additional speed thanks to the wind chakra in his legs, he will zone in on the opponent and deliver a devastating kick to the gut or spine, if connected produces multiple shallow cuts on impact.

      Name: Kaze Kaatsu / Wind Pressurized
      Rank: C
      Type: Ninjutsu
      Element: Wind
      Description: This technique allows the practitioner to utilize their mastery of the wind in order to manipulate the air pressure in a chosen area. Raion Akuma developed this technique in order to combat offensive fire techniques. This is accomplished by rapidly decreasing the air pressure in the location of the flames, effectively causing them to be robbed of oxygen. Lowering the air pressure in a certain area also decreases the air resistance in that area, which can have its own benefits. Likewise, rapidly increasing the air pressure around a fire technique as it is being initiated can cause it to prematurely explode. He can only use this technique 3 times in a topic. The range of the technique is up to 5m from were Raion is currently standing, and the chakra cost is D-rank per post.

      Wind Release • Daitoppa [Fuuton • Great Breakthrough]
      A technique utilizing Wind Chakra, Diffuse, and Unfocus
      Handseals: Yes
      Rank: C
      Description: A technique where the user concentrates a great deal of wind chakra up through the chest, the neck, and into the mouth. Firing forth a large amount of wind that is spread out and covers a large area. This wind is a very powerful wind capable of blowing back many things that are caught within its path. The range and width of the technique is within 15m at full force with decreased effectiveness beyond that and a 45 degree angle.

      Name: Futon: Shishi Senpū Kyaku / Wind Style: Lion Cyclone Leg
      Rank: C
      Type: Ninjutsu/Taijutsu
      Element: Wind
      Description: Raion will gather wind chakra in one of his legs, a tornado in the shape of a lion's head will form in one of the legs, Raion then will attack as he will jump and deliver a flying kick at his opponents, this attack when connected releases the tornado of wind gathered in his leg and make the enemy be send back a couple of feet.

      This is my Story

      History/Background Story:
      Pre-Academy Ark:
      His father and mother were active Shinobi, His Father and Mother were Jonin, so they could not be in the house all the time for him, but that didn't stop the family for being close and a happy one. At the age of five his father helped him unlock his chakra, and his father also taught him many tactical and many strategy games to develop his intelligence, his mother taught him...or more like drive her point across how to be chivalrous, and always respect Kunoichi, of course being glared at and releasing some KI by his mother can do that to a child to get the point across, she also taught him more complex thing like weapon training, Taijutsu and Genjutsu, when he asked his father and mother why not teaching him Ninjutsu, his parents laughed and told him that he was just a eight year old, and he only learning genjutsu to know how to dispel them in the near future, when his 9 birthday came, his parents happily told him that he will be enrolled to the academy tomorrow, Raion just smiled a happy grin and tackled his parents, saying thank you over and over again.

      Academy Ark:
      Raion tackled the academy with everything he had and then some in those 5 years in the academy, he did well in the taijutsu matches, coming out 8 place of the top 10 of the class, his intelligence was outstanding for someone his age, he was able to respond question left and right when their teacher asked him something or when it was on paper, his weapon skill was ok for someone his age, he was able to throw the weapons with great accuracy, almost hitting the bull-eye in every throw, he din't have much trouble going over the 3 jutsus the academy taught to him, the only problem was his clone, but after a talk with his father, they discovered that he was using a little much chakra than required for the jutsu, making his clones come out a little pale and weak, but after one week of chakra training with his father and mother, his problem with the clone was resolved, he made several friends in his class, mainly because he always took his time to help his possible comrades learn their techniques or solving difficult question in their test, and helping those that always needed his help, when the time for the exams came, Raion passed with flying color, his exams test was outstanding, he responded every question. His weapons throwing skill was fine, he hit out nine of the ten target, five were bulls-eye and the other four were close to the bulls-eye, one of them was a little ways of the bull-eye, but it was a good score nonetheless, his ninjutsu test was a little harder for him, because he was nervous that he will make his clone like it was before again, so with a deep breath, he performed the transformation jutsu, he transformed into his father, one of the academy instructor who knew his father congratulated him in a job well done, seeing no error in the technique, then came the replacement jutsu, replacing himself with a log, the teacher looked at each other and wrote down his score, then came the clone jutsu, this is were he panicked a little, but after some time, he pulled himself together, and did the necessary handseal and did the jutsu, making three perfect clones with no error, the teacher gave a round applause to Raion for a job well done, and told him to come and collect his headband, after tying it loosely to his neck, he gave a bow to his teachers and dashed home to deliver the wonderful news to his parents.

      Start of the Genin Ark:
      After a celebration party was done by the whole family, his parents put him aside and told him now that the real training will begin, and they will make him the best Wind user in Konoha, since when he was 12 and still in the academy, he discovered that his affinity was Wind, so with more determination, Raion practiced to use his wind chakra, but he didn't use any technique, but now that he was a genin, his parents were going to let him do some wind jutsu now. Raion looked a little pale at seeing his parents with sadistic grins on their faces, he hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't die thanks to his parents sadistic training now that he was a genin.
      Even before he was a genin, Raion was well suited for using chakra and was suspected to learn how to use and master the Wind Element soon as well to be the best wind user, and with his parents somewhat training boot camp, he have no doubt that some day he will be the best wind user of this generation.
      Roleplay Sample:
      Sample:
      Ren just looked as Death left the area with Trouble still unconscious, but before they leave he felt in his back a pulse of dark aura...and then pain he never felt before wracked trough his body, he could feel the dark aura making him stronger, affecting his arms, making the muscle in them contract and tense, making them stronger, he feel like he could punch trough a tree or wall and it probably wouldn't hurt him, the legs were next, pulling and contracting the muscle, making them stronger, faster, and more agile, Ren could feel like running a marathon and not get tired, then came the his hands and feet...he feel an incredible amount of pain in his nails, as they were replaced by claws, Ren looked at his newer set of claws and say. "What the hell is happening to me...ARRGGHH!" Ren doubled over in pain as his upper body was next, his pecs and abs contracted and pulled the muscles there, making them stronger, his back also got more stronger, his lungs were working over time as well as his heart, pumping blood and air to his pain filled body, but then came his head, his eyes hurt a lot, as they gained better eyesight, as swell as slit instead of round pupils, his brain hurt a lot also, he feel like it was getting bigger or something, or was it just the pain screwing with his mind? Then he tasted blood in his mouth and down his throat as his gums stretched, making room for more deadlier set of teeth and canines. As the pain finally leaved his body, he breathed a sigh of relief and just stood there in the ground, blinking his eyes and wondering. "What in Qinta's name just happened".





    Last edited by Okami Izamu on Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:29 pm; edited 5 times in total
    avatar
    Kenji

    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 1996
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 25
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji on Wed Oct 24, 2012 4:39 am

    Alrighty lets get started shall we. For the most part everything seems ok, my only concerns come with the Jutsu, and a little more personality wouldn't hurt but it's not required. The way you describe most of your jutsus, especially the second and third stances, makes it seem that they would be far more powerful than something a Gennin would have. Also, if those are actual combat stances that utilize chakra then you're going to need an upkeep for them anyway. You're going to have to tone down those Jutsu's if you want to use them as a Gennin, given their current description almost if not all of them would be in a B-A range. I also note that in your history you say you were trained to preform Genjutsu Kai, however you don't have that listed as a Jutsu.
    avatar
    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin

    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 1925
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 22
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu on Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:23 pm

    [*]Fixed the second and third stances, deleted some parts, now they are toned down and just jutsus, not taijutsus stances, that will help me, also added how many times it can be on and their cool-down. What says you?
    [*]My bad, I'm such an idiot, fixed and added. What says you?


    _______________________
    My Character Image
    Spoiler:


    The Bio
    http://narutosd.darkbb.com/t662-raion-akuma#2942

    Equipment
    Kunai: 4 Shuriken: 4 Senbon x 2
    avatar
    Kenji

    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 1996
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 25
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji on Wed Oct 24, 2012 8:49 pm

    Lets see, I still think most of the stuff would be higher ranking than what you have but if we establish a lower area of effect then it should balance out. Here's a list of some techs that need a "area of effect" range and some side notes.

    • Kaze Kaatsu: Needs AoE and an uppkeep per post.
    • Aura of the Winds: Needs AoE and an upkeep per post.
    • Lion's Roar: Should be ranked D-C and maybe cut the area of effect in half or so, something like 5m-15m pending on rank if you want the cutting effect. Up to 40m, 120ft, is very expansive for a Gennin ability. If you remove the cutting effect and just keep the concussive effect then I'll allow 10m-20m.
    • Wind Style: Dragon:: This would be a C-Rank at least with an upkeep during those 3 posts, and is there a limit to how high you can go?
    • Wind Style: Wolf Crushing Kick:: Just a note, for it to paralyze someone you would have to have Raiton (Lightning), with wind you could state that it also produces multiple shallow cuts on impact instead.
    • Wind Style: Wolf:: How much does your speed increase, if only a little then you might be able to keep it D, but otherwise it would be a C-Rank tech. And it still needs an upkeep for those 5 posts. Something like a E/D-Rank amount of chakra per post.
    • Wind Style: Lion Fist:: If that means you can potentially attack 5 times in a single post the power of these attacks is going to be limited, also what type of range does it have after leaving the fist?
    • Wind Style: Lion:: Needs an upkeep, probably E-Rank per post.

    I apologize for the extensive list but some of it still seems like stuff a Chuunin or Jounin would have.
    avatar
    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin

    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 1925
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 22
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu on Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:03 pm

    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Deleted, put another jutsu instead of this.
    [*]Edited and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed.
    [*]Added.


    _______________________
    My Character Image
    Spoiler:


    The Bio
    http://narutosd.darkbb.com/t662-raion-akuma#2942

    Equipment
    Kunai: 4 Shuriken: 4 Senbon x 2
    avatar
    Kenji

    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 1996
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 25
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji on Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:32 pm

    And Approved

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    Re: Raion Akuma

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