Shattered Dreams

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The world in chaos. A fight to the death. The future once more. Do you have what it takes to rebuild the Ninja dream?

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Shattered Dreams

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Konohagakure~


Hokage: Cicera
Durability: 100%
Funds: N/A

Kirigakure~


Mizukage: Revy Izumi
Durability: 100%
Funds: N/A


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2 posters

    Raion Akuma

    Okami Izamu
    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin


    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 4241
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 28
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Raion Akuma Empty Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:19 pm


    Retrieving Ninja Profile.....
    Raion Akuma Loading01

    Who... Am I?

      Name: Raion Akuma

      Nickname/Alias: Rai

      Age: 14

      Gender: Male

      Is that really me?

      Appearance:
      Raion Akuma T1307254780531c5d2fdee9d46bb33c69a8e800f6315
      He's 5'8" height and his skin is a little tanned. He has straight medium length black hair and slitted Emerald green eyes that shine even in the darkness of the night like a canine or a feline. He is normally muscular. He likes to keep himself in shape in this days of sickness, but he is not a heal nut like other peoples, but he respect those kind of people either way, his appearance often intimidates people who don't really know him, since when he is relaxed, his face just go to a stoic mask or a glare, but that is just his default expression, so he really sometimes doesn't know why people is afraid or keep their distance from him, but once you get to know him, you'll realize that he is just a kind and nice guy to be around.

      Clothing: He wears a black sleeveless muscle shirt under a black coat, black pants with pockets, for scrolls if needed and other such things, he also wear black shinobi sandals,along with his kunai pouch strapped to his right thigh and shuriken pouch on his left. He usually has on a shinobi belt, as well, giving him more pockets to store scrolls, kunai, etc.

      Extra Item
      Raion Akuma Battle01_full

      This amulet is a gift from his Father and Mother after passing the genin exams, and since then, he hasn't taken it off, he likes to think that it gives him courage and strength to keep going when he doesn't know what to do anymore, under the sun or moonlight, it gives a pale blue hue, and under closer inspection, a ethereal blue flame can be seen inside the blue crystal of the amulet, the flames seeing like their are dancing inside the amulet.
      Weight: 130

      Height: 5'8"

      Ethnicity: Anime

      Voice: His voice is normally soothing and kind when he is talking to his friend or people he is comfortable with, but when he is talking to strangers or people he doesn't like, his voice is cold, emotionless and monotone.

        Likes:
      • His Precious People
      • The rain, be it light rain or a storm
      • The Supernatural/Mythology
      • Canines and Felines
      • Honesty
      • Kindness
      • Friendship
      • Loyalty
      • Hard working shinobi

        Dislikes:
      • Traitors
      • Bigots
      • Sexists
      • Liars
      • Bullying
      • Politics
      • Racism


      Personality:
      Ren personality is somewhat simple. Raion provides a friendly attitude when meeting for the first time. Although being very outgoing and friendly, Raion doesn't show mercy to those who betray their village or worse, if they betray their friends.

      Teamwork to him means everything. He believes that teamwork can overcome anything no matter what. To him, having a friend is like finding your true happiness, he like people who honors friendship, teamwork, but he mostly honor his friend and family over anything else.

      When he is facing his enemies or people who really rub him the wrong way, he shows them a cold exterior and tries kill his enemies as quickly as possible, and distance himself away from people he really doesn't like to be around with.

      How he acts towards his Teachers or future Jonin-Sensei is with a nonchalance mask and a monotone voice that sometimes unnerved his Academy Teachers, and sometimes the occasional Chunin or Jonin he comes across in Konoha. Towards his friend, he takes off the mask and shows them a kind and friendly personality, he sometimes acts nonchalant and speak in monotone just to scare his friends.

      If you manage to befriend him, before he do it first of course, you will have an invaluable ally who will always watch your back and never betray you.

      My...Family?

      Clan: -

      Unique Clan Features: -

      It's all coming back to me now..

      Classification: Genin

      Letter Rank: C

      Village: Konohagakure/Konoha

      My skills were unmatched..

      -Skill Specialties-

      Available Starting Points: 3


      • 1. Ninjutsu (Adept)
      • 2. Taijutsu (Novice)
      • 3.


      -Elements-


      • 1. Futon (Wind)
      • 2.
      • 3.
      • Comb.


      -Jutsu-

      E:
      D: 3
      C: 7
      B:
      A:
      S:
      _____________
      Normal Ninjutsu:

      Wind Ninjutsu/Taijutsu:

      This is my Story

      History/Background Story:
      Pre-Academy Ark:

      Academy Ark:

      Start of the Genin Ark:
      Roleplay Sample:
      Sample:





    Last edited by Okami Izamu on Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:29 pm; edited 5 times in total
    Kenji
    Kenji


    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 4312
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 31
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji Wed Oct 24, 2012 4:39 am

    Alrighty lets get started shall we. For the most part everything seems ok, my only concerns come with the Jutsu, and a little more personality wouldn't hurt but it's not required. The way you describe most of your jutsus, especially the second and third stances, makes it seem that they would be far more powerful than something a Gennin would have. Also, if those are actual combat stances that utilize chakra then you're going to need an upkeep for them anyway. You're going to have to tone down those Jutsu's if you want to use them as a Gennin, given their current description almost if not all of them would be in a B-A range. I also note that in your history you say you were trained to preform Genjutsu Kai, however you don't have that listed as a Jutsu.
    Okami Izamu
    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin


    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 4241
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 28
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:23 pm

    [*]Fixed the second and third stances, deleted some parts, now they are toned down and just jutsus, not taijutsus stances, that will help me, also added how many times it can be on and their cool-down. What says you?
    [*]My bad, I'm such an idiot, fixed and added. What says you?
    Kenji
    Kenji


    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 4312
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 31
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji Wed Oct 24, 2012 8:49 pm

    Lets see, I still think most of the stuff would be higher ranking than what you have but if we establish a lower area of effect then it should balance out. Here's a list of some techs that need a "area of effect" range and some side notes.

    • Kaze Kaatsu: Needs AoE and an uppkeep per post.
    • Aura of the Winds: Needs AoE and an upkeep per post.
    • Lion's Roar: Should be ranked D-C and maybe cut the area of effect in half or so, something like 5m-15m pending on rank if you want the cutting effect. Up to 40m, 120ft, is very expansive for a Gennin ability. If you remove the cutting effect and just keep the concussive effect then I'll allow 10m-20m.
    • Wind Style: Dragon:: This would be a C-Rank at least with an upkeep during those 3 posts, and is there a limit to how high you can go?
    • Wind Style: Wolf Crushing Kick:: Just a note, for it to paralyze someone you would have to have Raiton (Lightning), with wind you could state that it also produces multiple shallow cuts on impact instead.
    • Wind Style: Wolf:: How much does your speed increase, if only a little then you might be able to keep it D, but otherwise it would be a C-Rank tech. And it still needs an upkeep for those 5 posts. Something like a E/D-Rank amount of chakra per post.
    • Wind Style: Lion Fist:: If that means you can potentially attack 5 times in a single post the power of these attacks is going to be limited, also what type of range does it have after leaving the fist?
    • Wind Style: Lion:: Needs an upkeep, probably E-Rank per post.

    I apologize for the extensive list but some of it still seems like stuff a Chuunin or Jounin would have.
    Okami Izamu
    Okami Izamu
    Konoha Genin
    Konoha Genin


    Posts : 25
    Ryō : 4241
    Join date : 2012-10-23
    Age : 28
    Location : Paraguay

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Konoha
    Letter Rank: C
    Classification: Genin

    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Okami Izamu Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:03 pm

    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Deleted, put another jutsu instead of this.
    [*]Edited and added.
    [*]Fixed and added.
    [*]Fixed.
    [*]Added.
    Kenji
    Kenji


    Posts : 66
    Ryō : 4312
    Join date : 2012-10-12
    Age : 31
    Location : Michigan, U.S.

    Shinobi ID
    Village: Kirigakure
    Letter Rank: A
    Classification: Jounin

    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

    Post by Kenji Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:32 pm

    And Approved

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    Raion Akuma Empty Re: Raion Akuma

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